Ranking the Cardinals in a fight.

After all of the fireworks this week I decided that I would write a little ranking of the Cardinals you really wouldn't want to mess with in a fight.

8. Matt Holliday- Holliday doesn't really look like a guy who would be that tough in a fight, but according to the Cardinals strength coach he is the strongest Cardinal, particularly in the lower body. He wouldn't really be a stand up puncher, and he seems to have a long fuse. But when you finally go over the top he will just charge you and use his legs to pile drive you into the ground until you throw up.

7. Jason Larue- Larue is a catcher, and catcher automatically get extra tough points just for breathing. Larue would rank higher, but like Samson and his hair, Larue lost quite a bit of his strength whenever he cut of his menacing facial hair. For most of his career his walk up song was "County boy can survive" which makes me think that he wouldn't punch you out, he would just wage a guerrilla war of attrition against you. He is the guy I want on my side in a "Red Dawn" type situation.

6. Dennys Reyes- I don't know how many of you have heard of the Marvel villain "The Blob" but Reyes has the same power set. The blob is a really large man that just absorbs whatever punches are thrown at him in his blob like gut. If you hit Reyes with a couple of body shots you will just feel the blows absorbed through out his torso then he will bite your ear off.

5. Skippy Schumaker- Its always the quite ones. Skip doesn't make much noise. Never really draws attention to himself. One second your running your mouth the next your picking your teeth up off the dirt.... silent but violent.

4. Yadier Molina- Tough as nails catcher who would love to catch every day. Would be ranked higher but as long as you are capable of a slow jog then you can run away from him. But if he catches you....

3. Aaron Miles- This guy is someone you REALLY don't want to mess with. His dad was a boxer and I get the feeling he imparted quite a bit of knowledge to him. Secondly, many people haven't realized this about him, but he fought with a guy who had a gun to his head during a hostage situation. Some dude had a gun to his head for about 20 minutes and he said "screw this" and decided to take matters into his own hands. He wrestled the guy all the time having to hold the guys gun hand away from him, and bit a huge plug out of his arm, then the cops came in and had to shoot the guy four times while Miles had him in the grapple. Miles then jumped out the window, and he wasn't on the first floor. Don't mess with this guy.

2. Chris Carpenter- Sometimes it doesn't matter how scary or imposing the guy looks. Sometimes its something else that makes the guy a complete and utter bad ass, like say Hannibal Lector. Carp has something going for him like that. HE IS FREAKING INSANE. Don't mess with him.

1. Albert Pujols- Albert is like the Mighty Thor. The only reason he isn't knocking people out by accident with his shear presence is because he is always consciously putting limiters on his omnipotence. In Cincy he didn't start yelling at people because he knew that the sound of him yelling might make ears bleed. If he had wanted to he could have just Hulk clapped and knocked everyone on their butts. Its the cyborg parts that make it possible.